Making decisions when life got you #$@&%*!

I did not start YLD because of some inspiration that transcended myself.

In 2013 I was about to be a father for the first time. I was in a different city and country. I did not have a job. The job options I had, I did not like them.

So, on the 5th of November, I started YLD. The idea, simple: work two days a week so I could focus on my family. Paula was six months pregnant. We had a plan.

On the 22nd of November, we went for a routine scan to see how the baby was doing. I remember Dr Ge Zhang excused herself to “double-check some calculations”.

This baby needs to be born in the next 24 hours — said Dr Zhang upon her return.

I spent the next 24 hours in fight-or-flight mode. I booked flights for Paula’s family. I made lodging arrangements. I researched. I went to get the baby bag from home. I took care of the cats. It was tunnel vision for 24 hours.

Alice was born the next day, healthy and weighing 1kg (under 3lbs) at St. Mary’s Hospital.

Are you staying with mom or going to NICU with the baby? — the nurse asked.

Should I go with the baby and leave my Paula by herself? Am I prepared to bond with this baby? Is the baby going to live? Is Paula going to live? I was trying to speak, but the words would not come out.

Looking back, none of these questions seems sensible. But when you are in fight-or-flight, everything is out of proportion. You overreact.

You should go with the baby. — Paula said.

And so I did. And I cried.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

I thrive on chaos and stress. I seek big challenges and am not afraid of conflict. Like most of you, I am an entrepreneur and know what it means to walk that path.

But when the nurse asked me that question, I froze.

The fact that my job is to make difficult decisions all the time made no difference.

People and teams need leadership when under extreme circumstances. Yet even those that thrive in stressful situations can freeze at a moment’s notice.

Leaders need a method to manage these critical situations for their team. We can achieve that by following two simple steps:

1. Understand what motivates each person.
2. Build a comprehensive plan for your journey.

We should start by understating what motivates each person:

• What they observe
• How that makes them feel
• What they need
• What they request of you

For instance, I understood how Paula felt but never asked what she needed from me.

Hospitals deal with premature babies all the time, so we were ok. The doctors know we are afraid. They know what we need and can predict the requests we will make of them. They have developed processes and infrastructure to cater to our crisis-related needs.

Chances are your business is not as prepared for the stormy waters ahead. But before you get to the right answer, you need to contextualise the journey for your team. Without their buy-in, even the perfect plan can fail. You can ask them what they see, feel, need, and request.

Two years later and Paula was pregnant again. This time I decided to take six months of extended parental leave, a benefit YLD offers all staff.

Can a founder do this?

• We had enough bookings for a whole year.
• We hired an experienced team that had done it before.
• We had enough money on the bank.
• We were growing 100% year on year for the second year in a row.

So we felt pretty positive about me taking parental leave.

In January 2016, Ben was born. I was happy and at home.

Things did not go to plan. Paternity leave was great for the family, not so good on YLD. I was taking an executive course at Stanford when I learned that:

• Revenues were lower than bookings.
• Costs skyrocketed.
• We had no new clients.
• Upon my return from the course, more than half a million pounds of our cash reserves were already spent.

Up until this point, YLD had known nothing but tremendous growth and success. But that was no longer the case. We were in crisis mode. I had to come back to work.

So we called an emergency meeting to discuss. I listened to everyone, both in the meeting and in private.

We made a plan.

In these situations, I always visualise what is happening as if it was a theatre play:

• What actors should take part in?
• What is being communicated?
• How does the location affect the scene?
• Where are we shining the spotlight?

The focus was on getting YLD back to the troupe our audience had come to love. There was no time to waste. We needed to make changes.

Some of our cast didn’t agree with the needed for change. They needed to agree or leave. Some, like myself, will be too shocked to respond. We planned for their absence.

We decided to promote new managers from within the company. We couldn’t afford to bring in new people that didn’t already understand the play.

The cast, our cast, needed to understand the urgency of this change. We were transparent and direct with the financial challenges we were facing. This increased the pressure but allowed the team to regain trust and focus.

We committed to a clear, shared goal: 2017 would be a non-loss-making year. In 2018 we would double our revenues and be profitable again.

This piece of teamwork helped our people feel reassured about our financial outlook.

Then, we started acting again.

We shifted the spotlight from the storm to the discovery.

And as the play unfolded, we considered the same questions for each scene. Always remaining transparent with the team. Always focusing on our newfound shared trust.

With our people feeling safe, and the spotlight back on the future, we enabled our cast to move on from the past.

Over time more of the team embraced the new plan. And YLD went on to double our revenues. For two years in a row.

When we fail to deal with difficult situations we lose out of what matters the most: The people. Our people.

We remember how things affect us, but we never learn how we affected others.

So, start by listening to people. Get their buy-in.

Then don’t freeze, be the doctors.

Have a plan.

Be bold. Be transparent. Be clear on what we are achieving together. Ensure people understand why and what they need to do. Then, be true to your word.

It will get your team back to winning. And you will experience the most important moments in your careers.

The moments that you never forget.